For Tanja

I hadn't talked to you in a long time. You had gone your way and I had gone mine. Like everybody else when you slipped away, I thought it was me. I didn't try too hard for too long. I never do. So I hadn't talked to you in at least a year. But I feel like I still had a connection with you. The first time I met you in group I had you pegged. I knew EXACTLY who you were, because you were so much like me. Your emotions ruled you. We hung out from time to time after group and chatted about random things. I knew you struggled. I knew there was a layer beyond what you shared in group. But you seemed to be happier and doing well. You were working so hard to get your life in order and work out the kinks. I remember the last time I talked to you. You seemed like you were still in a good place. Neither one of us had been to group in a while, but you sounded content, and I was happy that you were doing well. Now here I am finding out that you had a downhill spiral that you couldn't recover from. It makes me sad to know that I didn't know. That I couldn't help. You always inspired me with your love of animals. I have the same love and I looked up to you for everything you did. The deep devotion that you had to your work. I hope I can carry on your legacy in some way. I'll devote myself in both of our names. The world was lucky to have known you Tanja Pliler. I hope you have found peace.