Impending Changes

I'm trying to just take a deep breath and take life as it comes. It's amazing how much having an eating disorder can make you feel schizophrenic. Sometimes I feel like there are two different people living in my body. As much as I'm told it's a part of recovery it makes me feel totally crazy at times.

I was thinking that it's time to make some changes to my routine and daily life. These are not going to come easy for me but I KNOW it's the best thing for me to do. I just don't know how to start. I don't exactly want to say what the changes are so it's hard to explain them, but they will be things that are going to take time and patience to implement. On the other hang it's partly just jumping. Just doing what I need to do. When I think about that part of it I just feel frozen. Like I told a friend the other day, implementing it may just take somebody holding my hand and doing it with me. It's not my ideal way but somehow it has to be done.

On another note I am officially in my late 20's. And honestly this is the first time in my life I have ever had a problem with my age. I feel old and washed up. I dunno I am sure there have to be good things about getting older, I just haven't found them yet. I did have a pretty awesome birthday. I got my nose pierced and we went to a friends party. They even sang happy birthday to me. I don't think that has happened in years. I felt pretty special.

Oh well it's a beautiful day out so I'm going to go do the dishes so that I can go outside with the kids later. TTFN