Conflicted

I've had a lot on my mind lately and it's all very confusing and I really just need to take a minute to think and write some things down. 

Mostly what is on my mind is about friends and friendship. I know a couple of people that I did consider friends......but I don't know if I still do or not. They both live fairly close and I think I get along well with both of them, but I haven't seen or talked to either one of them in.....well I can't even remember how long ago. I'm conflicted about it because I have TRIED to get ahold of them and get together with or talk to them. I know everyone has a busy schedule and blah blah blah but I thought you made time for your friends. At least that is what I do......even if it is just a text message or email to say I am thinking of you. I have called and left messages on their phones and messaged them on the internet and have gotten bupkis in return. 

In all honesty it pisses me off a little. It really makes me feel like they are not interested in being my friend. I feel like I have waisted my time trying like hell to make time for them when it is all one sided and they just want to be nice to me but don't really want to be my friend. 

Ok so it sounds a little like a poor pity me I guess but it just hurts thinking that somebody is your friend and then finding out they are not. It's not quite as bad, but it's still like losing somebody you love. But I guess I just have to let it go and move on. I will be thankful for the good friends I know I do have in my life and realize that I have always felt that having a couple of really great friends is better than having a bunch of mediocre ones. So, if you are one of those friends and happen to read this.....Thank you for being a good friend :o)

TTFN

Tidbits

I started a yoga class last night. I was AMAZED at how much I loved it. I was very unsure going into it as to what it was going to be like and how I was going to do with it. I absolutely loved it. For 90 minutes all of the stress inside of me just melted away and I was in my own world concentrating on nothing but me and the positioning of my body and breathing. I can't wait to go back on Saturday.

Jack is getting ready to crawl. He has started army crawling a little bit. He is so happy and determined and adorable. I don't want him to grow up but at the same time I can't wait to see how his personality grows every single day. Kids are so amazing.

Riley has started drawing people the adorable way that all pre-schoolers do.....a large head with a weird face and two legs coming straight out of the head....no body at all. We were drawing family members on her chalkboard last night. First she drew herself, then daddy, then mommy. Kevin laughed when she drew me, because she drew a very oddly shaped head that was HUGE, two eyes, a mouth, and a nose underneath that. She is so proud of herself though, and I am so proud of the way she can draw circles and actually make pictures now. We are going tomorrow to look at a preschool for her for the fall. I'm excited and sad at the same time. My baby is growing up and going to school!

We have been re-organizing the house. We moved the TV back into the living room upstairs and decided it didn't quite look right up there......so we went and bought a new TV. I still think I'm glad we did because it was definitely time to move away from the tube TV, but dang those things are expensive and I gave into kevin wanting the bigger one which of course was more expensive. I'm now a little worried about money because kevin told me we could buy some stuff to help organize the house and i'm worried we will have to put that off now.

I am so happy the weather is getting nicer. I love getting out and doing things outside. I have already taken the bike out three times this week and we are planning on riding to Riley's class tomorrow. Kevin has Friday and Monday off this week so we are excited to have him home with us for a couple extra days!

well, not too exciting but that's what's been going on.....maybe something deeper later, when the kids are sleeping and I have time to think.

TTFN