Ok I'm back to wondering why I keep doing this. I'm back to wondering why I try to have friends at all. It's frustrating as hell to me, not to mention depressing, to keep thinking people like me and actually want to be around me, then to continually find out otherwise. Hell I guess it gives me more time for housework, right? Ok maybe I'm just lonely or something but I really, really, REALLY feel at this point that I don't have a single friend that's not in it because they feel bad for me. I guess the cycle continues and again I am at a point in my life where I am an invisible loser. I guess it was bound to happen I just really had the hope that it wouldn't. It just sucks because every single time I start thinking I'm developing a friendship with someone I get so excited, and I just get crushed every single time. This is why I question my husband's love sometimes. I know that sounds pathetic, but how can one man love me so much when obviously the rest of the world wants nothing to do with me? I feel like he's just doing it out of pity too. But I have learned that he is honest and he wouldn't do that so I trust him. I just don't understand it. Anyways I didn't mean this to be a pity me post but hell what does it matter, I'm the only one that reads it anyways. I guess I'm done for now.

TTFN